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June 29, 2017

Dignity and No Wrinkles

One of the things that older people hate is wrinkles -- and not just the ones on faces. No matter how much we age, we ladies still like to have freshly pressed clothes. Oh, yes, we hate ironing and avoid it whenever we can. Perhaps after today, I won't be quite so picky about any kind of wrinkles.

Normally, after I get up in the morning, I have coffee and cereal with blueberries, put in a load of laundry, press clothes for the day, then enjoy a hot shower, but not today. I made it to the ironing part: pressed a pair of navy slacks and placed a soft blue shirt on the ironing board. I had a sleeve in one hand and the hot iron in the other.

"Whapp!" The ironing board collapsed to the floor and I fell on top of the green-striped cover with the shirt in one hand and the steaming iron in the other. My head hit the wall on the way down, things got a little wonky and I realized that I was sitting on the floor. It was instantaneous and a bit like slow motion at the same time. My modesty won't repeat here what I said there. The ironing board catch-lock had broken. Seriously?


Of course, my alarm was on my bedside table -- two rooms away and I was in my nightgown. I scooted over to my desk, got the phone and called for assistance. Very quickly, our wonderful facility director arrived, got my robe (cover the body!) and two men arrived. Since I have that! leg (the gift that keeps on giving), I can't bend my knee when I am vertical. I scooted into my living room near a chair. But, my "I've fallen and I can't get up" ordeal continued. At least I didn't moan like the lady in the commercial. I had lost all dignity, again. For women, that loss begins with the birth of the first child and continues on to the depths of indignity: I've fallen and I can't get up.

Two handsome young firefighters arrived, made a sling from my bed coverlet and whisked me up into the chair. Thank you (again) to all the firefighters who come when we need them. My head didn't break, or bleed and only my small amount of dignity that's left is bruised. 

Lessons learned: Wear your alarm all the time.
                             I'm not infallible.
                             Older age brings more vulnerability. 
                             I still hate ironing.